Five Love Languages:

Acts of Service

Friday, July 14, 2017

I have a friend who was changing the sheets on all the beds one day. Her husband saw what she was doing and helped her get it done. Let me tell you, she was putty in his hands! "He loves me," she said. Acts of Service was definitely her love language! And her husband knew how to speak it!

What might be examples of acts of service? Take a look at the kinds of things your loved one does and help him/her with them. They might not be things you like to do. But that's what makes it even sweeter. They will likely recognize your sweet attitude while you're helping them and they will love you for it! Or -- surprise them by doing these things for them when they are not around. That's cool, too. 

• wash their car
• help the children with their homework 
• weed the flower beds
• fill up their car with gas on a rainy day
• rub their feet
• wash the dishes 
• mow the yard
• take the kids to soccer practice so they can do something else

You get the idea. 

But here's the catch. You've got to do it with a good attitude and don't look for any special recognition in return. You just do it because you know your loved one will appreciate it. 

How can we use acts of service to show God how much we love Him? Offer your time and talents to do His work in the church, in the community, and on the mission field. 

Lord, give us the ability to know how we can speak appropriate acts of service to you and to our loved ones. Sometimes this isn't natural for us. Help us to do it anyway. 

 

The Five Love Languages: How to Express 

Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate 

by Gary Chapman (1995)

Mr. Chapman says that just like we have fuel tanks in our cars that require gasoline to work, our hearts have love tanks that need to be fueled. The five "love languages" are the fuel: words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service, and physical touch.

Five Love Languages:

Gift Giving

Thursday, July 13, 2017

I have a friend who is a gift-giver. She sends cards to everyone for every occasion. And many times she would surprise me with a freshly baked loaf of sourdough bread. I like friends like that!

Mother was a gift-giver. If she found out that someone she cared about needed something that was in her budget to give, she did it -- warmly -- and in a beautiful package neatly wrapped and adorned with ribbon. 

God is a gift-giver. He has gifted us with many, many wonderful things through His Holy Spirit!  

If you live with a gift-giver, you are probably aware of it. But here's the big question. Since gift-giving is their way of showing you their love and appreciation, are you doing the same thing to reciprocate? It is their love language, after all. Speak it to them. 

Lord, thank you for the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ. For it is through Him that we have the opportunity to live with you forever! Thank you, Lord! 

 

The Five Love Languages: How to Express 

Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate 

by Gary Chapman (1995)

Mr. Chapman says that just like we have fuel tanks in our cars that require gasoline to work, our hearts have love tanks that need to be fueled. The five "love languages" are the fuel: words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service, and physical touch.

Five Live Languages:

Quality Time

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Yesterday's post was really long! Sorry about that. Today's will be a little shorter! 

What is quality time?

time spent in giving another person one's undivided attention in order to strengthen a relationship (i.e.without distractions like cellphones or other electronic devices)

To whom can this apply?

• husband and wife
• parent and child
• siblings
• friends
• whole families

I asked some of the people at work yesterday, "If someone we're going to spend quality time with you, what would you do together?" Here is a bit of the response that I got. 

"Go to the movies."
"No, not the movies because you can't talk."
"Go to the movies and then talk about it."
"Talk about it over ice cream."
"But just don't get out your cellphone."
"Yeah, that's right. No cellphone."

So here's a brief list of things to do to spend quality time together:

• Go to the movies (then eat ice cream)
• Sit down together for a meal
• Gather for a cookout
• Go on a road trip 
• Go fishing
• Cook together
• Read books together
• Ride bikes
• Hike
• Hang out at the pool/beach
• Get a pedicure together
• Go someplace quiet so you can talk

Bill and I like to take our dog, Cassie, for a walk each evening. Last night as we walked, my phone buzzed in the middle of Bill's telling me something. I responded to my text and suddenly realized Bill was saying something like, "Cassie, she's not paying any attention to me right now. Or she's mad at me or something." No! I just got destructed. Bad me! He had to start all over again. But I listened the second time!

That could really get old if it happened all the time. Agreed? 

Quality time is just that -- quality. It's giving someone your undivided attention, making eye contact, and truly paying attention to them. Try it out and see what happens. 

Lord, not only should we spend uninterrupted time with our family and friends, I'm pretty sure you would like some quality time as well. Help us be mindful of your desire to fellowship with us. Help us do it. 

 

The Five Love Languages: How to Express 

Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate 

by Gary Chapman (1995)

Mr. Chapman says that just like we have fuel tanks in our cars that require gasoline to work, our hearts have love tanks that need to be fueled. The five "love languages" are the fuel: words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service, and physical touch.

Five Love Languages:

Words of Affirmation

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

In what language do you communicate the best? For most of my readers, English is probably your primary language. You were most likely born into a family that showered you with all kinds of words in English and before long you began to understand their meanings and to use them yourself. 

Perhaps that is the way we are with love languages. Dr Gary Chapman proposes that there are five of them:

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• giving/receiving gifts
• acts of service
• physical touch

He says that many newborns are showered with all five of these languages to start with. Then over time children are typically exposed to the language that their families tend to speak most fluently. 

So let's say a little boy grows up primarily getting "things" from his family. Before long that might become his primary way to communicate affection as well. Then let's say there's a little girl who becomes used to hearing words of encouragement from her family. It stands to reason that this might also become her most comfortable way of showing her love. 

Now let's say this boy and girl grow up, meet each other, and start dating. Their relationship is in its infancy so they speak all the love languages to each other, heaping compliments on each other, spending time together, giving sweet little gifts to each other, doing nice things for each other, and enjoying each others' affections. 

Suppose this relationship goes further along and these two get married. After a period of time when the "honeymoon is over," so to speak, both of these people go back to speaking the love language that is primary for them. He brings her flowers. She encourages him in his work. She gets sick of roses and he thinks she just loves him for his money. He might as well be speaking German and she Swahili. They don't understand each other at all. 

So it is with love languages. Couples need to figure out what language their spouse speaks and take a crash course in it. 

Today let's take a minute and look at "words of affirmation." We can imagine what they might be:

• You did a great job today _____ (on the yard, at work, on your project, with the children, balancing the checkbook, etc.). 
• Thank you for _____ (taking such good care of me, helping with the dishes, doing your job so well, reading to me, spending time with my mom, taking me to dinner, listening to me, etc.).
• You are so _____ (wonderful, beautiful, caring, sweet, honorable, funny, smart, helpful, loving, talented, good with the children, etc.).
• You can do this. You're prepared. You're smart. You're ready. I'm behind you all the way. 

Sometimes we think, "He/She knows how much I appreciate him/her."

Really? I don't know many mind-readers. And I'm guessing that if you think this way then you're not a mind-reader either. Otherwise you would know you have to use words to express things like this. 

Let people know how you feel about them. It is really important!

Lord, show us today how we can use words of encouragement with our spouses, family, friends, co-workers or acquaintances. Show us how much YOU need to hear these affirming words, as well. Help us move one step closer to understandable communication of love. 

 

The Five Love Languages: How to Express 

Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate 

by Gary Chapman (1995)

Mr. Chapman says that just like we have fuel tanks in our cars that require gasoline to work, our hearts have love tanks that need to be fueled. The five "love languages" are the fuel: words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service, and physical touch.

35 years ago today...

Monday, July 10, 2017

Thirty-five years ago today I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I could hardly eat a beautiful brunch prepared for me. This was one of the most important days in my life. It seems like yesterday -- and forever at the same time. On that hot, steamy day I married my best friend in the whole world. And he married me back!

So how is it that we've managed to stay married for 35 years? 

Priorities. 

Communication. 

Bill and I were Christians for several years before we met each other. And in those years we developed a solid relationship with the Lord. We established Him as first in our lives and we were comfortable taking the back seat. He guided us, nurtured us, loved us, and helped us know our importance in His eyes. 

Our courtship and marriage was no different. God was still first. And each of us was comfortable with that. When we talked about our future together and I expressed some reluctance about being that stereotypical "preacher's wife," Bill very wisely encouraged me to be me. (Can't you see me being anything BUT stereotypical!) He told me to be involved at church where I felt God leading me to be involved. And as long as I made the Lord proud, who cared about what anybody else thought! (Pretty wise for only being 23 years old!)

So we have always tried to keep our marriage balanced regarding priorities. God has always been first. 

Now don't think for a minute that we neglected each other or our children. That's not what God wanted either. It was hard to keep a good balance -- but we did the best that we could. And God has blessed our efforts. 

Besides priorities, communication has also been key. We have done our best to address issues as they have come up and not to let irritations fester. But I shared my thoughts and feelings differently than Bill did. That only stands to reason -- we had each come from totally different family settings and we were two very different individuals. So we had to figure out a way to address things that best suited us. It took some trial and error. 

One time we were trying to decide whether to do this one thing or to do something else. He thought I wanted the one thing and I thought he wanted the other. (It kind of reminds me of The Gift of the Magi.) We ended up doing one thing when in reality we both wanted to do the other. We didn't figure this out until later, though, and it was a good lesson for us. We couldn't read each others' minds. We had to talk. 

Over the years we have made it a point to spend time together when it was just the two of us. We talk about everything. We know each other well. 

So as I reflect over these past 35 years, I'm so glad that God not only brought Bill and me together but that He helped us grow stronger as a couple with every passing year. He is the sweetest thing EVER. And he always has my best interest at heart! I can't imagine life without him. He is my soulmate!

 

Memory Verse 2017 -- Week 27

Sunday, July 9, 2017

 

Therefore, I urge you,

brothers and sisters, 

in view of God's mercy,

to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,

Holy and pleasing to God -- 

this is your true and proper worship. 

Romans 12:1

As a believer, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Treat it with respect. Honor it. Dedicate it to the Lord for Him to use as He desires. 

Spend the week focusing on this scripture: 

• Read the verse in your Bible. 
• Read the passage before and after it. 
• Write it in your journal. 
• Ask the Lord to show you how it applies to your life. 
• Put it on a piece of paper and post it in a prominent place in your home so that you can see it often. 
• Put the words to music. Make up a tune or use one you already know. Singing always helps in the memory process. It's a left brain / right brain thing. 
• Always memorize the scripture reference with the verse so you can remember where to find it in the Bible. 

Bless the Lord, oh my soul

Saturday, June 8, 2017

Worship Leader Magazine: "If you wake up one morning and you cannot think of a reason to bring God some kind of offering of thanks or praise, then you can be sure there's something wrong at your end of the pipeline, and not his. We live beneath an unceasing flow of goodness, kindness, greatness, and holiness, and every day we're given reason after reason why Jesus is so completely and utterly worthy of our highest and best devotion." Matt Redman

I had heard this song before, but when Mother died and we sisters were planning her funeral, we decided we would sing this song. It was one of the hardest and most wonderful things I've ever done. 

As I reflect on it now, I love it even more. It is so important to recognize the many blessings of the Lord every day and to thank Him for them. And one day we will join with the heavenly hosts and sing His praises until the end of time!

10,000 Reasons

Songriters: Jonas Myrin, Matt Redman

The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name.

You’re rich in love and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
10, 000 reasons for my heart to find.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name.

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
10, 000 years and then forever more.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name.
I’ll worship Your holy name.
I’ll worship Your holy name.

Lord, thank you for my wonderful family, for my church, for my friends and co-workers, for the safety and security of my home and community, for my country and the freedom it affords, for nature and its beauty, and for life itself. Most of all, thank you for blessing me through your son, Jesus Christ -- for the abundance of life that I have through Him and for the assurance of heaven that I can claim. Who am I that you would bless me so richly when I deserve absolutely nothing?! Thank you.