"But you're my Friend!"
Dealing with Hurt Feelings
Perhaps one of the hardest situations to deal with regarding hurt feelings has to do with the relationship between the offender and the offended -- friends, spouses, father and son, etc.
"If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me, I could hide.
But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God,
as we walked about among the worshipers." Psalm 55:12-14
Read the entire chapter of Psalm 55 and you'll see that not only was David crushed, he was anguished, terrified, and afraid. Initially, as he poured his heart out to his God, he expressed despair. This assault by his companion had caught him by surprise and he quaked. But as he talked with the Lord about the wickedness of his enemies, he never lost faith. He concluded the chapter with the resolution to trust and depend on his God.
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. ...but as for me, I trust in you." Psalm 55:22-23
Lord, sometimes we are baffled, dismayed, and confounded by what our friends do to us. I'm reminded that even YOUR closest friends abandoned YOU when you needed them most. So you, of all people, understand what we are going through. Thank you. Give us the strength to put our trust in you no matter what.
I remember your mom asking me what I did when Ben hurt my feelings. I think I told her I would just go in the other room and do something. I asked her why the question. She said Ben had hurt her feelings one day at work and she went home and cried but never told him he hurt her feelings.
ReplyDeleteTotally ignoring the hurt has never worked well for me personally. Now, I might not be able to address it at the moment it happens. I might have to give it a day or so. But if I don't address it at all, I run the risk of two things happening: (1) the offender never knows what they did or said and then I have absolutely no ground to stand on when they do it again. (2) I keep pushing back the hurt until it turns into anger. I'd rather address it as soon as I can so I/we can move on.
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