It’s Almost Halloween

Friday, October 27, 2017

What are some good Halloween costumes this year? According to people in the know, certain costumes are off limits these days. 

• Native American 
• Confederate soldier
• Belly dancer
• Nun (especially one that’s pregnant)
• Priest, Rabbi
• Old man walking with a cane
• Playboy Bunny (or any other rabbit)
• Girl dressed as Patrick the Starfish
• Boy dressed as Anna or Elsa
• Mexican
• Geisha (but Greek/Roman god or goddess is okay)
• Refrigerator (you might offend plus sized people)

That leaves us with. . . . 

• Candy (as long as it isn’t chocolate)
• Cartoon characters (as long as they aren’t sexualized)
• Animals (unless you’re an animal rights activist and then I guess they are all off limits)
• Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz friends (unless you’re from Kansas and then you might not appreciate the stereotype)
• Satan (because it’s okay to offend Christians)
• Plants (unless you’re going as a Venus fly trap)

What about candies? Besides the fact that giving out raisins or pencils might get you labeled as the house NOT to visit, most candies pass the social appropriateness test. But I would like to ask the sensitivity committee about the following:

• Dum Dums
• Nerds
• Wax lips
• Smarties
• Oreos
• Chocolate kisses
• Air Heads
• Now and Later
• Jolly Ranchers
• Blow Pops

I don’t know. It just seems like those candies might be offensive to some people. And I wouldn’t want to trigger anything for anybody.